Have you ever had a moment, an epiphany of sorts, when you became painfully aware of something about yourself, something you might have sort of known, but was suddenly and alarmingly clear and defined? I’m not sure it happens to me all that often, rarely at best, but it happened to me twice this week. It was “Self-Awareness Week” over here at the Puking Pastilles homestead.

I’d like to think I’m pretty aware of my weaknesses and strengths. I know I’m disorganized. I know I suck at sports. I think I’m pretty good when it comes to teaching small children. I learn new things fairly quickly. I do not have good reflexes. I’m uncomfortable making small talk, but I don’t mind speaking in front of a large audience.

I’ve never been one to spend money lavishly or buy myself nice things, but I enjoy buying myself clothes when I need them (and when I can find something that fits–thanks for the short genes, mom). I like buying fabric and other sewing items, but only when I have a project that I REALLY want to do. I just didn’t realize that I actually can’t spend money on myself. I have had a few sales on Etsy this week (yay!), so I have some money saved up in Paypal. I sat down at least four times with the intent to buy something that I’ve been wanting on Etsy and I just couldn’t do it! I tried to pick something out of my pages and pages of favorite items, but I just couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t really think much of it until a friend of mine asked me to make her a nursing cover. I directed her to a great fabric store online and she picked out the fabric she wanted. I didn’t hesitate, in fact I was excited, to go purchase the fabric! I was stoaked to buy this awesome designer fabric. Why in heaven’s name could I buy something for someone else at the drop of a hat, but couldn’t for the life of me just purchase something for myself?

That’s when it hit me. In real-life slow motion. I don’t like spending money on myself. All the purchases that I’ve made recently that I was really excited about were things like fabric to make the kids clothes, fabric to make stuff for Etsy, and that’s pretty much it. I do buy myself candy sometimes. But here’s the thing. I’m not missing anything. It’s not like I’m depraved or anything. It’s just that I don’t enjoy buying myself crap and I’m okay with that. I just didn’t realize the extent of it, I guess. I’m rambling.

So the next epiphany was tonight when we went to a neighbor’s house to visit their tree house. I had no idea what we were getting in to! I should have realized when she asked me to sign a waiver that this wasn’t an ordinary climb up four steps to a cute little box in a tree. No, this thing is in a HUGE 100-year-old tree. The tree house itself is at least 20 feet up and has three stories and hardly any walls. I was FREAKING OUT. On the inside, of course. Catherine and Seth were fearless and scrambled right up to the very top while I was having a panic attack on the first floor.

I had no idea I was afraid of heights!

I used to want to go skydiving. No more people. No more. I think part of it was that I was seriously afraid for my kids’ lives, but part of it was that I was just terrified. It was fun and cozy once I had all the kids sitting right next to me, but the minute they walked off again I was having trouble keeping it together.

So there you have it. I can’t buy myself stuff and I’m afraid of heights. I had a physical reaction, I’m not even kidding. My legs were all wobbly and still are! I was having a hard time walking down the basement stairs. I kept wondering why the kids were so nonchalant about having a near death experience. Ugh. They think they’re going back, but they’re thinking wrong my friends.

Hi there happy readers. I have changed permissions on my blog so that you have to sign in to comment. Since only a handful of you comment this should be no big deal! Thanks for reading:)

EDIT: Changed them back! Don’t need to sign in anymore:)

Seth turned 5 this week. 5. I made him a Jango Fett costume and he loves it. He wore it SuperWHY style to church today (under his church clothes).

I’m still working on his helmet (ask me if I’m insane and I’ll tell you I am). I’m following this insanely difficult tutorial here.

Firstly, I got a treasury on Etsy today! For those of you who are new to Etsy, the items featured on the front page are handpicked by an Etsy member. They pick these “treasuries” from a huge list of them. In order to get into the list you have to sell your soul to the devil. And your first born child to Rumplestilskin.

So go check out my treasury: Purple and Green Etsymoms. The more clicks it gets, the hotter it will be!

We went to the State Fair last week and saw Veggie Tales LIVE. LIVE, people. I had no idea how it would work out seeing that they are digitally created characters with no arms or legs.

It was fun and they sang a lot of Veggie Tales songs. The kids loved it and it gave us an excuse to go to the State Fair. On our way in, we stopped to remind the kids of what to do if they get lost (I remember VIVIDLY getting this talk from my parents…haha!).

So I turned to Seth and asked him what to do if he got lost and his reply was, “Pray.” lol. so cute.

Don’t worry, I also instructed him to find a nice mommy to help him:)

Incidentally, we lost Joseph at the very end of Veggie Tales. It makes it that much scarier when they’re too little to know what to do. Someone at the gate intercepted him, so it was all good. He seems to be a magnet for danger these days.

The ferris wheel just doesn’t compare to the Texas State Fair.